A Crack In The Shell
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day 1136a: There was a moment, when Jake told her they were done, where Kitty felt herself break apart just a bit. - TOP 15 cycle - #14: Kitty


_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, etc through 54th cycle. Now cycle 55!_

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_**Favorites cycle** - It's that time again, where I gather a list of my fifteen favorite characters, relationships, friendships, etc of the moment! It's constantly evolving, and if I did it over today, as the list was selected weeks ago, it would already be different. But oh well, there'll be later opportunities ;) So then, here we go!  
**At number 14 - Kitty Wilde**_

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___**This is a double shift day.** There will be one more upload today: The Fair Collaboration, chapter 4__._

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**"A Crack in the Shell"  
Kitty**

They couldn't see her as weak. That would have been the start of everything going wrong. So long as she kept everything as it was now, then she could continue being this person they saw her as. She was popular, and in charge, and it was everything she should want…

But then Jake had happened. He was just enough of a known figure around McKinley for their relationship to catch people's eyes… and if it put a thorn in Marley's side, then so be it, even better. She knew how he was with girls, most times, but that he'd given her the time of day had still meant something. Maybe she was even starting to…

When he'd broken up with her, with so much ease, it had taken her by surprise, so much so that for one moment she had cracked.

It had lasted all of a second or two, as far as they knew, if they saw anything at all, but for her it had felt as though time had slowed to half speed, or even slower. It wasn't like she'd fallen in love with the guy or anything, but still maybe somewhere inside her he had taken a place she wasn't ready to see vacated, and it had actually hurt.

Once she had been able to get a hold of herself again, she had gotten out of there. She wasn't going to stand around and watch Marley be victorious, while Jake stared at her like she'd never mattered, especially if her face was going to betray her as a display of her messed up mind.

So she'd stomped off, making a solid show of the one emotion she could accept to show: absolutely unforgiving rage. She'd found the girls' bathroom, throwing the door open and looking in.

"You two, get out," she'd told the girls standing at the sink, and when one looked about to argue, "I'm sorry, that was rude, please get out before I throw you out, better?" The girls had argued no further, walking past her. "Anyone else in here?" There was a flush, and then one of the stall doors opened. The third girl hesitated, moving toward the sinks to wash her hands. "I said get out!"

"But…"

"Out!" Kitty maintained, and the girl moved to leave. "And don't touch me," she warned as the girl moved by her. Finally she was alone and she shut the door, leaning against it after she'd locked it.

Now alone, it took her a moment to feel herself panting, and she stood there, slowly trying to calm her breathing. There was just so much happening all at once, and she had to find a way to sort it out.

Her anger was not put on, it was genuine, she knew. She had been humiliated, and she liked that about as much as she liked hearing the word no. They would not get to go around like it hadn't happened, oh no. They would know exactly what it meant to mess with Kitty Wilde. If the doe-eyed future dough girl thought she was on her case already, she would look back on those days as the calm before the storm once she was done with her. And Jake, oh… Nothing would give her more pleasure than to put him in his place, too. How she'd ever thought he was worth her time was beyond her…

It wasn't the anger that was the most troubling though, it was the rest. She was hurting, real proper pain, and as much as she tried to pretend otherwise she was sad. This wasn't supposed to happen, not like this. The pride in her heart said that, if this relationship was ever to end, it should have ended by her hand. She would decide when she was done with Jake, not the other way around.

Instead he'd tossed her out. He'd decided he was done with her, and she had become of no worth to him. That realization, that had been the cause for her crack, her one moment of weakness she had done everything in her power to hide. Her whole purpose here in the social world of McKinley High was about being important, about having a place. It was easier that way, to hide whether she had ever felt lonely, because she had… so many times… too many times. At least this way, being the head Cheerio, the mean girl, and probably being Jake's girlfriend, too, she could continue her ascend…

She had never feared falling, it had never even occurred to her, not until that moment, when he'd said they were done. It was like she'd been walking along a perfect road, and all she could see was that road, and then she'd tripped… and suddenly she saw just how narrow her road was, saw how easy it would have been for her to lose her footing and fall away. She hadn't liked that feeling, hadn't liked how scared it had made her all at once.

Feeling someone try to get in to the bathroom, it had pulled her out of her thoughts, and she blinked, pressing her hands to the door behind her. It was still locked, so it wasn't like they could get in, but even then… She frowned, waiting, waiting… When she felt them stop and retreat, she let out a breath, closing her eyes.

She had to see the road as a road again. She couldn't mind if it was narrow, or twisted, or anything. If she was going to keep being who she was – and she liked being who she was – then she couldn't stop to see the imperfections. She would make them pay, those who had wronged her, and then balance would be restored. She didn't need them, why would she need them? She was better, she was higher… There was no crack at all, only a shell.

THE END

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******A/N: This is a one-shot ficlet, which means that signing up for story alert will not bring you any alerts.  
****In the event of a sequel, the story will be separate from this one. And as chapter stories go, they are  
************always clearly indicated as such [ex: "Days 204-210" in the summary] Thank you!**


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